so I’ve just been having kind of a bad day today, so I thought: What better way to get my feelings out than to tell them to a bunch of strangers on my blog?
So there have been a couple of things that have been bothering me today. One is that I’m really struggling with my self-confidence.
I mean, I am always sort of struggling with that, but the last like week or week and a half, it’s just gotten to a point, where I doubt everything about myself. And that whole thing sort of has two sides to it. On the one hand, I am just not liking the way I look and I feel very self-conscious about other people seeing me, just because I feel like I don’t look as good as everybody else does. For me, that’s something that comes and goes. I am never really confident about my body or the way I look, but sometimes I just don’t really care. But now, I just feel really down about it.
On the other hand, there is the fact that I am doubting my ability to do literally anything. And it’s really getting in the way of both my school work and my writing. I have just been doubting my ability to get through school and to get into university, which makes me really anxious like all the time. I just feel overwhelmed with everything I have to do. And then there is also my writing project. I have just lost my faith in my writing abilities and I feel really weird about the story I have written, although I really like it, but I kind of just don’t think that I should finish it, because it would be a waste of time. I don’t know… I just…
Another thing that’s been making me feel down is that I keep having the feeling like all I have been doing these past few years is running away from something. And I just feel like a coward for leaving the situation back home, which was killing me. I know it’s stupid, but maybe it just goes along with the low self-confidence, I don’t know.
That’s all for now. A little venting always makes me feel better, as has Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare, which I just finished. Such a good book. You should definitely pick it up if you have read her other Shadowhunter books!
Anyways, hope you are having a better day than me.
See you soon,