Yesterday I was asking myself whether or not I should divide this blog into two separate ones: one for books and one for my writing and personal stuff.
I decided that doing that would be a big mistake. Because I like writing AND reading. Because I like art AND science. Because I love movies AND books. Because I like to curl up in my bed with a book or a movie AND I love adventure. Because I like to learn new things AND sticking with familiar ones. Because I am a scientist AND a philosopher. Because I am lazy AND I love sports. Because I would wear sweatpants every day if I could AND I like to dress up. Because I am shy AND I talk a lot. Because I’m not one dimensional. I, like everybody else, have a lot more to me than you might be able to see at a first glance.
Because this blog is about me. The whole me. And even if nobody ever looks at it again, I will still continue doing it. Because this is about me. Not about you or anybody else for that matter. If you like it, great. If you don’t, nobody is forcing you to read this. (And if somebody is, leave a comment saying SOS!;)) I don’t want this blog to be just half of me. I don’t want to separate myself into two pieces. I’m one human. I’m one individual and there are loads of things about me, nobody knows. And if somebody finds out that I paint, read, write, travel, stay at home and enjoy working out, who cares? People might be surprised or might think it’s strange. Might think I’m strange, but so be it. I bet they have a lot of weird personality traits and hobbies as well. They just don’t show them.
I did that once too. Hiding the parts of me, that I thought were strange. It killed me. I was so miserable, because I always had to remember which person knows what parts of me. I was playing different roles with different people. It was exhausting. All of those roles I played, were a part of me, but none of them was me. I could never be myself. Not even by myself. I don’t know why. I guess I was just so used to playing a role. To not being me. I couldn’t turn it off.
Then I went to Ireland and I fully embraced the fresh start. I just thought: Fuck it! And showed people who I really was. And it turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I was so much happier. And people actually accepted me for who I was. Of course there were some people who didn’t get me or whatever. And there always will be. But this is not about them. This is about you.
So that’s why this blog is so mixed and why this won’t change. Because this blog is about me. All of me.