For the last few weeks I’ve had time to think everything over again. My whole life. And I’ve realized that since I have come back to Austria, I have lost more and more sight of who I am and who I want to be. I have lost myself by trying so hard to fit in. And don’t misunderstand this. Me, writing this, is not a way to complain about my life, because let’s face it: Complaining without doing anything has never helped anybody. It’s an announcement of the beginning of my new life. I have decided to regain control over my life. I let everything that didn’t fit in everybody’s picture of the perfect teenage girl go. I stopped doing what I love. I stopped being who I am. And worst of all: I stopped trying to be the person I aspire to be one day.

Starting this blog, writing this, officially announcing my goals to myself and others. Those are the first steps of my journey to becoming me again. I need to be brave and do what I want, wear what I want, be who I want to be and work towards goals I actually want to achieve. I need to stop caring what other people think and what other people want and expect from me.

I know I still have a long way to go and I know that this is not going to be easy. This will probably one of the hardest things I’ll ever do. But I have to it. For myself. I do however want to share this journey with you. Not just because I think writing all this down and making my goals and aspirations official will help me. Which it will. But I also think that this might help some of you who have lost themselves and who are trying to find back to the person they are.

So, I hope you will find my posts about my personal self-discovery interesting and helpful. (Not the only thing I will post about btw.) I’ll keep you posted.

-B.

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